Current Mood:
10:12 p.m. - 08/14/2008
a few things
A few things:
I've been trying to wrap my head around this situation and the only thing that makes sense is that I imagined the past few months. But the thing is that I'm pretty sure I didn't. I have witnesses.
Next I've come to realize that sometimes having been a psychology major has some downfalls. Defense mechanisms don't really work when you can recognize them immediately in yourself. Earlier today I was bummed out and suddenly I went on this spiel about how upsetting it is that global warming is projected to kill the polar bears by the year 2050. As Andre looked at me like I was crazy DISPLACEMENT was flashing through my mind. But I felt like I was genuinely upset about the polar bears. It could have worked but that damn word kept flashing. So it didn't.
Also my aunt sharon and my cousin lala are on my last nerves. They pretty much ruined jasmine's first week of school to convience themselves. Frist of all she's not your daugher. Secondly how about listening to someone who actually went to college or sent a child off to college like me or my mom instead of assuming they know everything.
More still. Kate and I hung out this afternoon and watched The Notebook. Why we decided to do that I don't know because it was depressing. (though I'd like to point out that while kate was bawling I couldn't even shed one tear even thoguh I tried. This is a movie that used to make me cry everytime, and now becasue of this stupid problem I have i can't) But anyway it made me wonder, is it really too much for me to ask for a great love like that? Okay maybe it is, but can I at least get a guy who looks at me the way the main characters looked at each other? You know the look I'm talking about. It's just the look of true love and adoration. That look that says this girl is crazy and insane but I'm crazy about her. I dont think anyone has ever looked at me that way and it makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like i'm never going to find someone who looks at me that way becasue I'm so out there and so all over the place. And i'm gonna end on that depressing note. Damn it why the hell did we decide to watch that movie. Wonderful if you're in love. Depressing as hell if you're all alone like I sometimes feel like i am destined to be.
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