Current Mood:
3:27 p.m. - 09/09/2008
an open marriage proposal is just not for me
So did I ever mention that Duffie proposed to me? He wants to marry me and for me to have his children. He thinks that I would make a wonderful wife since I'm so nurturing and put up with his childishness, and he wants me to bear his children for the same reason adn becasue of my good genes.
I said no of course. And not just becasue of the fact that back in like March or April I realized that I deserved better than him. He had the nerve to suggest that it would be okay for him to cheat on me. In hismind it's not cheating because he would tell me about it, and his physical loyalty has nothing to do with being a good husband. He claims that he will give me the world and provide me with whatever I want.
Well all I want is fidelity. I don't know what rock he's living under, but nowadays women don't need a man to take care of them. He told me I'd never have to work again becasue he would provide for me. Well I like working. I may hate ti at HUD but this is just a stepping stone. By the time I'm ready to get married I'll be working in the wildlife feild and loving every moment of it. That whole stay at home mother thing is not my style. I like to be kept busy with outside ventures. I also hate depending on other people for anything. I mean I'm the type of person who would rather overdraw an account than ask a close friend to borrow $20. So I definately don't need his offer to take care of me in exchange for him being able to cheat on me. He has this twisted idea that marriage is forever and that even if he cheats there wouldn't be a divorce. He thinks that it's acceptable, and that the only reason so many marriages end in divorce is becasue they're not honest about their natural desires to be with other people.
I know that when I finally get married I will want that perosn and only that person. it's not even about physical attraction at that point. When I choose the person I want to marry, he will be the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, in every aspect. I believe that the emotional and mental connection we will share will make the physical connection even better, and thus prevent me from wanting to stray for some menaingless fling.
Well anyway, there is something seriosuly wrong with Duffie becasue he honestly thinks this is a good idea and has no idea why I keep turning him down. He's also got it set in his mind that eventually, in about 5 years I'll have warmed up to the idea and I'll give in and agree to marry him. Sorry to burst his bubble, but it's just not gonna happen. All I need from a potential husband is for him to love me and be faithful to me, and Duffie just can't provide that. I do admire his honesty though. Most guys upon learning that I wouldn't stand for the infidelity would lie to me and say they'd be faithful if we got married. But he's not budging, he's just trying to get me to budge. Not gonna happen. And you know truth be told even if he did say he'd be faithful I'd still never marry him.
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