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9:07 a.m. - 10/10/2008
Road trip with the gaggle of gays begins
So where do I begin on the tale of my journey to florida in the car with my gaggle of gays (aka Andre, Ryan, and Brenden). I guess the tale starts the night before we left. it was about 1 am and Ryan and Andre decided they wanted to go to Walmart before we left in the am. Well in DC Walmarts aren't as plentiful as they are in other places and 24 hour walmarts are damn near impossible to find. So we drove an hour to Fredrick just to go to Walmart to buy junk we didn't need. We also stopped and ate at waffle house becasue waffle house is just plain nonexistant in the dc metro area. The lady who served us was seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was just having a really bad night. But anyway, so we're an hour away from our house which is alread about 45 minutes away from downtown dc where we were supposed to pick up Brenden when his bus got in, when he called to say he had arrived. Poor boy had to wander the streets of chinatown for over an hour alone at like 3 am waiting for us to pick him up.
SO we were planning on leaving at 5 am, but that didn't happen. We ended up actually leaving around 9. And then the road trip really began.
First let me start by expressing my initial annoyance at the fact that these boys are so spontaneous that they wouldn't plan which cities we were going to stop in on what days. I like to be organized and have a plan but I couldn't write anything out becasue they kept changing their minds. At my request savannah was definately on the agenda so the plan started out as going to charlotte, then atlanta, then savannah, then ft.lauderdale. But as we started driving we decided not to go to charlotte and just to head sstraight to atlanta. I was ahppy about that becasue I would get the chance to see Danny. But then as we entered North Carolina, we made the biggest mistake we could have possible made in my opinion. We stopped at the visitors center and looked at the things they had to do.
SO we decided to go to the NC zoo so that I could see the polar bear there (since as you probably already know, I'm obsessed with them)then we were going to spend the night in charlotte and then go white water rafting early in the morning the next day and head to atlanta from there.
Okay, let's stop a minute to talk about some of the things we did to entertain oursleves in the car. First there was the oral sex, cum, conversation, which became a theme of the whole trip. Someone was talking about swallowing cum, and Andre got grossed out and said he's never ever done that in his entire life and he never will, and me and the rest of the gaggle started talking about techniques, and experiences etc which just completely made andre disgusted with us. It was really funny. Brenden had this crazy tale about how his ex boyfriend would jerkoff with his leg up against the wall or something so that he could swallow his own cum. Crazy right? We also played a dirty game of I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing..... and we played the ABC road sign game. There was also lots of sountracks form muscials, mariah carey, and celine dion played. That's just what happens with a gaggle of gays.
Not long after our road trip began I realized how disgusted I would be by the end of the trip with their eating habits. Every two seconds someone wanted to stop becasue they were hungry and of course when one stopped they all ate something. This slowed us down considerably and was just gross in general for me to witness. Especially when you take into consideration how ridiculously thin they all. Just randomly, "hey let's stop here, I think I'm in the mood for pie." Ten minutes later "Ooh, let's stop here I want some ice cream." And it just went on and on.
SO now we didnt get to the zoo til an hour before it closed because of all of their silly stops, and I was annoyed, but I held my tongue. I wouldnt get to see the whole zoo, but at least I'd see the polar bear.
SO we get there and the first thing they all want to do is this spongebob ride which they made a ridiculous amount of noise on and inappropriate comments. Luckily we were the only ones riding it. Then I finally saw the polar bear. The poor thing looked miserable in the heat. Next I continued along walking quickly to get as much ground covered as possible. I was always about 50 feet in front of the boys and by the time they'd catch up wiht me as i was looking at an exhibit i'd move on to the next one. Of interest was the elk exhibit. it was amting season and I witness a very disturbing mating ritual of one of the male elk which i'd rather not describe. I showed the boys the photos i took when they finally caught up with me and they wanted him to do it agian. So Brenden decides to pull up my skirt, with the excuse that it would turn on the elk. Right. So after having known Brenden for all of 12 hours he saw my ass.
So I keep walking ahead and at one point when they catch up with me they tell me about these quakers that were pointing and talking about them, and how that provoked them to act even louder and gayer, and more obnoxious. And scared them off. That's actually pretty funny and I wished I could have seen it. Becasue annoying as they are most of the time, those people were just judging them because they were obviously gay.
SO anyway, at one point I get way ahead of them becasue the zoos about to close and i want to see as much as possible. I get to the halfway point which has a bus back to where we parked and Im waiting and waiting and waiting for them but they don't show up. So I start to head back and an employee in a golf cart with the gaggle on the back picks me up and drives us back to our car. Andre sat in the middle of the zoo and yelled "HELP" until someone came to pick them up.
So we get back to the main entrance and decide to go into the gift shop to browse. There we run into the quakers again who are all pointing and staring at the gaggle. SO of course they put on a show. But then we realize that the car keys are missing. So we have to (well they did) retrtace our steps to find out where they could have possibly been dropped. Luckily they found them without much searching, and they thought it was gods way of punishing them for bothering the quakers. They looked at us with hate in their heart.
SO we left the zoo and got a room in charlotte that night and met up with Andre's friend Matt. I've gotta go right now so I'll continue with the Matt Marla Ryan saga later.
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