Current Mood:
2:11 p.m. - 09/01/2009
What could have been?
So lately I've been really annoyed with myself because I find myself missing (for lack of a better work, more like wondering about what might have been) this guy from my past. I think we could have been perfect together adn we used to have these amazing conversations. I really felt like I had a connection with him, but for whatever reason things didnt work out, I guess beause of each of our situations at the time things didnt really have the chance to blossom into anything. (other than a couple of drunken hookups) But I wish it did. I wish we could have given the dating thing a real honest try, because to be quite honest he's kind of perfect for me. I hate that I'm missing him right now though because I ahte looking back to the past. I hate wondering what could have been. It's a waste of time, because what could have been is NOT what was, and you can't go back and change the past, so theres no point in dwelling on it.
But what if he thinks about me too but assumes that i don't give him a second thought, because I shouldnt. What if we're both sitting around missing each other's company and wishing things could have worked out, but we're both too afraid to contact the other perosn. These what ifs make me strongly consider just calling him out of the blue. But I probably won't for fear that he actually doensnt give me a second thought and could care less that nothing ever happened with us.
I mean i think I established in the past that he was a giant douchebag who wasnt worth my time, but looking back on it I can't figure out why. And although i know its a distorted perception of the past, all I can think about is the good times that we had.
PS don't anyone start to worry, its not Duffie.
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