Current Mood:
12:00 p.m. - 09/01/2009
Pretend like it never happened
I don't know why, but lately I've been kind of ashamed of my thoughts and afraid to actually put them in writing. I'll start typing a blog entry and then delete the whole thing halfway through. It's not even like I'll be writing about anything serious. I don't know, I guess a big part of me just wants to forget everything that's happened to me in the past month, and writing it down is a confirmation and reminder that it did happen. I mean i don't think I really went into details about the whole Andre and moving situation, and I still wont. I just want to forget the whole thing. I'm glad that I at leat have a few months to save money. My only concern is how horrible poor Pugsy is now being treated without me there to walk her and play with her when Andre neglects her. I havent really written much about that drunken night i went out with Royce that led to us no longer speaking, because I hate the fact that I got so drunk that night, and don't want to remember it. I want to try to forget about my friendship with him in general, then maybe i'll no longer miss hanging out with him so much.
In the men category, I have a new one. he's in Florida though, and he's pretty awesome, but I dont want to write too much about him or get my hopes up because experience has taught me that the long distance thing doesnt work. and I think it will especially not work considering that my guy is a hot bartender at a vacation resort. Too much temptation on his part, too much suspicion on my part. Who knows maybe it'll all work out, but I'm not really writing about him because I don't want to remember this little love affair if nothing comes from it.
On a final note: I have got to get out of DC soon. It's affecting my self esteem and confidence levels. Well not really but it appears that way. You see, whenever I go out in DC, I get hit on by rude annoying men who have nothing better to do than to bother attractive women. In order to deter these guys I kind of dress in a plain, frumpy kind of way and walk with a blank expression on my face so as not to attract attention. however is warding off the negative attention, i think I'm also warding off the positive attention. So what's a girl to do. Solving the problem I have with rude men in DC was a lot easier when I hade a bf that way I was not concerned with attracting any attnetion at all.
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