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3:16 p.m. - 09/18/2009
Why do I miss you when I really really really don't like you right now
Is it possible to hate someone but miss them terribly at the same time. I feel that way right about now. I had a falling out of sorts with a certain friend of mine. One of my favorite people ever to hang out with, and I think up until this falling out a very good loyal friend. I drunkenly did something to upset this person, and this person made a way bigger deal out of it than it should have been. Which in turn made me furious at that person, because what kind of friend holds one drunken mistake against you, when aside from that you've been an excellent friend and always defended that person when other people talk about them.
Well anyway here it is over a month later, and we still havent spoken. I dont know what the rules for these kind of things is. Should I just consider the friendship lost for good, or should I try to reinititate contact with the person? But since that person hasnt tried to initiate anything with me, should i juust take that as him not wanting to be my friend anymore or what?

I'm so angry about that whole night, and I wish it would have never happened. it makes me kind of sick to my stomach to think of what an ass I made of myself. But it also makes me angry to know that he let stupid shit like that ruin our friendship. It just shows how little it meant. But even with all of this anger I feel now, I cant help but miss all the fun times we had together. I mean don't get me wrong, I still have fun with my other friends, and life has gone on without him, but when i look at all the memories captured in the photos of us together it just makes me incredibly sad to know that those good times have come to an end.

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