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4:39 p.m. - 11/23/2009
how i like to torture myself
Sometimes I like to torture myself and look back to past 'unrelationships' that I've had, and wonder if perhaps that person might have been the perfect match for me, but I screwed it up somehow. I was just doing that. it was actually torure because I went back to how I felt about him at the time. I allowed myself to go to that place, and it kind of hurt to know that I screwed it up because in that place when things were still great, I felt wonderful. I wihs I could feel that way again. Well actually I kind of do sometimes. However I kind of do sometimes with someone I doubt I'll ever be with. I need a cigarette now. So that is all.

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