Current Mood:
5:06 p.m. - 04/26/2010
the stupid dating pattern
Meeting the man of my dreams, the guy who's perfect for me, the guy I can be myself around, and not having it work out. That's pretty much my dating pattern. Or meeting a guy who is just okay, and settling for him and pretending to be someone I'm not around him because i'm afraid of being lonely.
I've been dating a lot lately and I'm worried that some of the guys I'm sticking with might not really be right for me, but that I might end up with them anyway. I met someone who was perfect. I was 100% myself around him, from the smoking, to drug use, to drinking, to history of cutting, everything he knew and was fine with because he was the same way. He couldnt have been more perfect for me. But for whatever reason we dont talk anymore.
Dejavu to the last guy I went out with who I thought was perfect for me. He and I don't talk anymore either, and I havent quite figured out why.
These perfect for me guys make me think that maybe there is someone else ou there for me other than the guy who I am inappopriately in love with. But unfortunately there are more losers in the mix than perfect for me guys, and those guys make me go running to that guy and make me more sure than ever that he and I will get married one day. I don't want to love him so much, i just do. It's so stupid. The sound of his voice makes me smile.
Anyway I just realized how much none of this makes any sense at all, and that I'm just rambling so I'll stop now.
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