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2:42 p.m. - 09/28/2012
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I wish I didn't have such low self esteem. I pretend like I'm super confident. Anyone who sees me or knows me would be fooled into thinking that I am. but I actually hate myself wiht a passion. Everyone tells me I'm pretty, and I take thier word for it and draw confidence from their declarations, but when I look in the mirror I see fat and ugly with bad hair. Men are attracted to me and I think why. I never make the first move, even with guys I see regularly because I'm afarid they might reject me. That's right, the guy who comes over to hang out with my by myself, and who I frequently have sex with will reject me if I'm the one who initiates the sex. that's how I feel. I wish I dind't. I wihs I was more confident. I used to be. Now I'm dead on the inside. Afraid to be. More rejection might actually kill me.
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