Current Mood:
10:45 a.m. - 04/11/2013
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In a way my life has fallen apart. But in another way it's never been better. It all depends on how you look at it. This all could have been prevented if I would have listened to my friends and cut off my relationship with Royce months ago. Now it is official and I will never be friends with him again. Unfortunately he lives with Dan now, which puts a strain on me and Dan's relationship and I hate him for doing that.
I've moved on from Dan, but I want to be his friend. I miss our talks, and the time we spent together.
Soemtimes I feel like I'm still going through the motions of everyday life.
I feel myself falling apart, but since I'm still at the point where I can maintain my composure it's okay. I should reach out for help. But I won't. And eventually it'll culminate in a situation similar to how I handled the adam situation. I already see it happeneing. It always starts with the impulsive spending. Then with the unintentional weight loss. I'm melting away, again. It'l be cool if I actually manage to get down to 'skinny' status, although most people see me that way already. And that disturbs me becauser I have a distorted self image and see nothing but fat when I look in the mirror.
Oh and just so you know, this isn't a frivilous dislike of Royce. I found out that he actually has been physically abusive to Sarah in the past. She doesn't see anything wrong with the fact that he has tried to strangle her on more than one occasion and that she is sometimes afraid to go places with him alone because he might kill her. But I wont sit idly by and allow him to continue this behavior. I wish she could see how wrong it is. I've done what I can. I hope he doesn;t end up killing her.
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