Current Mood:
7:54 a.m. - 7/8/2003
Emotional Overload
I feel so icky.
I have so much to do before I leave and I THINK I'm on emotional overload. I have to make time to spend with so many people. Why didn't I spend more time with them before the week before I'm leaving?
I also need to have a serious talk with Duffie before I leave. There are sp many issues that I need to discuss with him, but have been to scared to because I'm stupid. We have to talk to each other if this relationship is going to last. I have to feel comfortable with him, and right now I don't. I don't feel like we've been together for 2 years and were b est friends for a year before that. I feel like I just met him and know nothing about him. I feel really icky inside. I'm afraid I'm not going to ever get the courage to talk to him.I'm afraid for the future of our relationship.
I also feel guilty. Not only because of how I betrayed Duffie last year, but becasue I feel like I'm abandoning my family. Jasmine cried about me leaving and when I told Monae, she insisted on coming with me.
I feel like I'm a bad person for many reasons, and in some ways I am. My thoughts are all over the place tonight.
I just wish this icky feeling would go away.
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