Current Mood:
7:59 a.m. - 10/30/2003
Letting go?
You know sometime between then and now, I just stopped waiting. I stopped wondering. I stopped expecting. My hoping has decreased a great deal. I've gotten to the point of acceptance. I think this is letting go.
Sure it hurts. But I now accept the status of my relationship with the one I love.
Sure, sometimes when I see a picture of him it triggers something in my heart and saddens me, but for the most part, I'm fine.
Or am I?
MAybe I'm just repressing my true feelings. I tend to do that a lot. MAybe I'm mistaking my repression for acceptance.
I don't know.
All I know is that over all it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. He doesn't occupy my every thought anymore. The hold he has on my heart is starting to loosen.
Don't get me wrong, the hold is still there, but I can feel it lettign up. Maybe one day I'll be completely over him. Or maybe one day all the problems and obstacles will disappear and we'll finally be able to be happy again. I hope for the latter, but if it doesn't happen, I think I might just be okay.
Maybe.
I don't know.
A small part of me is just too afraid to completely let go.
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