Current Mood:
2:07 p.m. - 08/22/2008
hidden agenda?
So is it more than just a coincidence that right when Jasmine is about to leave to go to college I suddenly get supermotivated to actually do something about grad school? I'd like to say it's not. But it might be. You see, I can be a really selfish person who likes to be the center of attention. I also have this overwhelming desire to be better than everybody else. I was good to go with my accomplishments thus far. You know, graduating from college, getting a good job (although I hate it) and all of my volunteer wokr with the animals at the zoo. I was just the family's shining star. I didn't even really need grad school cause I had already outshined everyone else. But with Jasmine starting college, if things work out and she doesnt drop out as some poeple expect, she'll be caught up with me in a few years. And we can't have that now can we? I have to stay a step ahead of her. I'm hoping that by the time she gets her BS, I'll be close to having my PhD.
Now again, I don't think I'm doing this on purpose because of the Jasmine thing. I think that how much I hate my job has finally just caught up to me and that's why I'm suddenly motivated to go to grad school soon, since it would be a good excuse to move back to Florida. My mom would probably flip out if I told her I were moving back to Florida just for the hell of it. And in addition to my hatred for my job, Andre keeps claiming he's planning on relocating again soon. (You know how he hates to stay in a city for more than a year). And when he moves, I'll be out of a roommate, and without a roommate, I'd probably be forced to move back into my mom's house, which I would hate. So those are really the reasons why I'm suddenly motivated, but like I said, I can't help but wonder if my desire to be better than the people around me might have something to do with it. It'd be pretty cool to be the first PhD in the Queen clan.
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