Current Mood:
1:28 p.m. - 05/28/2006
Slamming one door and Cracking open another one
I don't know why, but it feels like a burden has been lifted off of my chest. Isn't it funny how the truth can do that. It hurts, a lot, but at teh same time its liberating. It frees you from worry. all along I've been saying thats what i needed from him so i wouldn't have to drive myself crazy wondering. I just had a long im talk with 'the other woman' and basically jacob is a jerk. He's been lying to both of us the whole time. Now I know the truth and she knows the truth. If she wants to forgive him she can, but I really don't think I'll be able to. He put me through so much unecessary pain, all becasue he couldn't tell the truth. I'm not going to lie. it really stings to know that all those times he said he was playing video games he was at her house watching movies, and that he's been sending her littel love mesages and crap, adn that he's willing to give up my friendship for her. But I feel better now that I know. I hate the fact that I let someone like him upset me so much.
Maybe saying that I'm done with him is easier becasue I opened the door to a new oppertunity last night. I don't want to say too much about it but I can't stop thinking about it, and it's making me smile, and we know how hard smiles from me are to come by these days.
I can't say I'm completely done with Jacob becasue i know how i am, and i know how easy it would be for him to lure me back in. But I want to be done wiht it. It's sad that something that meant so much to me for such a long period of time could end like this. But that's life, right?
Closing one door means opening another. So I've got my fingers crossed that this other one opens. I would be so happy if it all works out. It would really reinforce the whole things happen when they happen for a reason theory.
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