Current Mood:
1:21 p.m. - 05/22/2006
Sick of all the lies please stop
Why do I keep setting myself up to be hurt?
What kind of person has Jacob turned into? How is it that he has become the type of person who can look me in the eyes and blatently lie to me? How can he do that to someone he claimed to love? It's not fair that I have become a victim of his lies. It's not fair that I have to hurt so much because he can't be honest with me. It's not fair that he would rather sneak around with her than be with me. I bet everytrhing he said about them being over yesterday was a lie. I bet their 2 hour talk wans't evea a talk at all, probably a make out session. He knows how much I value honesty, so why is he doing this to me?
Why am I allowing him to do this to me?
I ahte this. We had such a nice night together last night, when I thougth all of this stupid drama was finally over.
Why do people have to be the way they are. First of all how can she be okay wiht being his dirty little secret. What self respecting woman allows herself to be with a guy only in secret? Allows him to allow me to call her names and talk trash about her and not say anyhthing. waht type of person is okay being kept a secret from the guy's ex-girlfriend of all people? I mean if he's lieing to me about her doesn't that say something? Doesn't that say that he doesn't want to close the door with me and he knows that if I knew about her then I would?
I mean I'm being rediculous in allowing him to treat me this way, but I have a long standing history with him. We've been through a lot together, and its not easy to let go of someone you thought you were going to marry. Someone you lived with for 2 years, someone who was there for you during some of your worst moments and helped you get through them jsut for being there with you.
So thats why I stupidly allow him to hurt me like this. But why does she allow him to use her. DOes she really have so little self respect that she doesn't care that this guy who supposedly likes her won't stand up for her. That's stupid. What have they been through together to make her put up with his shit.
I wish we lived in a perfect world where people were not dishonest, and were respectful of others feelings, and didn't use people for whatever reason.
Grrrrr
I'm so frustrated. I'm so sick of all the lies. Stand up for what you want. It's gotten to the point where I don't care any more I just want you to make a choice and stick by it. If you're gonna choose her then be honest about it. Don't lie to me and lead me on so you can keep me around in case you get horny. And if waht you said was true and you don't want to close our door all the way because you do remember the good, happy times we had together, and they mean something, then stop lying to her, and tell her that you want me.
Either way, stop lying. It does nothing but lead to heartache and pain.
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