Current Mood:
1:10 p.m. - 04/19/2006
Stop Lying
I wish I could get out of this pattern of jealousy that I've fallen into. "Anyone but her," I say, but is that really true? Is it that I really do just hate her because of how disrespectful she was or is it that I don't want to see him with anyone?
I thought everything was over, that closure was finally reached...but apparently not. Yet again my unwillingness to say no, and his inability to control himself landed me back to where I started. Emotionally unstable, physically satisfied.
My friends say that I should leave him alone and go after the guy that I really want, but I don't know if I am ready to take that leap yet. What if he doesn't like me? What if I ruin our friendship by telling him how I feel? What if he did like me and I ruined it with this stupid ex situation?
It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't constantly being lied to. If I could just get some truth for once then there would be no problem, but the lies make me wonder, and then my mind starts turning, thinking of the absolute worst situations and I get upset, and angry, and feel hurt and betrayed.
Stop lying to me so that I can move on.
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