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10:55 a.m. - 2006-06-24
\"two beds and a coffee machine\\" DUIs and old friends
So when does it become a case of domestic abuse?
Starts out with a bruise here and there. "Oh but I bruised him too so it's not a big deal" Then the bruises get more frequent and bigger. Then bite marks, broken eyeglasses, and now since I didn't have my glasses to protect me this time a black eye. But it's okay, I started the fight. I provoked him. I knew that if I kept asking him those questions then he would lose his temper because he always does. He hates facing the truth. he ahtes knowing that I'm on to his lies. he hates admitting what a bitch she is.
So why did I provoke him then? I know all of this, so it's my fault right? No it's not.
No matter what we're arguing about he has no right to put his hands on me like that. He has no right to punch me like that. Even if I do hit him first. It's a baby hit. he's 10 times stronger than me. Whne I hit him I don't cause him to go temporarily blind in one eye. I don't cause his lip to bleed. I don't leave his bosy tatooed with bruises.
It sucks because I knowit's not right, but I'm gonna let him get away with it. I'm still goign to try to be his friend. I'm goign to be the one apologizing when it should be him.
maybe it runs in families, the whole battered wife syndrome thing. It happened to my mom, and she didn't get out right away. Deep down inside I always had a feeling it would happen to me too, whihc is why I love "two beds and a coffee machine" so much. But with Jacob of all people? I thought he was so sweet. I thought he was so nice. I never thought he could hit a woman like that.
I have a black eye. Jacob gave it to me. This whole thing sucks.
And as if that's not enough.
Kersten got arrested for drunk driving last ngiht. She had to spend the night in jail. We were freaking out about waht to do but apparently her bail has been paid. So we can pick her up in an hour. It rerally sucks. On her birthday weekednn of all nights. If only she hadn't come here. If only she hadn't gotten that rental car. So many if onlys. She doesn't deserve this at all. And that stpud skank gets an attitude b/c Jacob had to stop talking to her to come and get us. First of all the whjole situation is none of her fault and secondly, we come first to Jacob, not some stupid little skank he's trying to keep on the side.
I was really bummed about everything then I talked to Duffie, and we didn't address the issue seriously, but joked around about it and it made me feel so much better. I forgot how much I used to love taling to him. How he can make light of any situation but in a way that's sincere. It was comforting to talk to someone who used to be in love with me and doesn't think I'm so horrible that I deserve to be punched in the face. It was also kind of good for me to hear someone who is not biased against Jacob like most of my friends are say that no matter what I said to him he had no right to hit me like that. It sinks in better with me. Becasue when anyone else says it I just assume that it's because they all hate him. I miss Duffie and being his friend.
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