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10:51 a.m. - 2006-06-20
konfusion
You lay with me and caress my skin
Then push me away and make me cry
You tell me you don't want to lose me
Then do the only thing that would make me go away
I tell you I'm staying to be with you
And a look of disappointment comes over your face
Then I tell you I'm leaving to make you happy
And that's not what you want to hear either.
I sacrifice so much for you, my dreams, my happiness, my future
But the most you can give me is "sincere appeasement"
Waht happened to you?
What made you so cold?
Waht transformed you into a selfserving jerk?
I'm not supposed to hold it in
But I can't express it to you either
So you now tell me to let it out in the way that you used to be so against
In the way that you've helped me to move away from
In a way that is hazardous to myself
You'd rather have me hurt than have to face what you've done
Trapping I did not do.
I made the decision to call it off.
You made the decision to keep it up
Or so you say
But I can't beleiv anyhthing you say
Lies are all that come out of your mouth these days
Ever since she entered your life
She's willing to be your secret becasue she lacks self respect
Well that's not my fault
don't punish me for it
Keeping her a secret does just that. Punishes me. Lies hurt much more than the truth ever could. You hurt me much more than anyone ever could
it was so preventable, but you did it anyway. you knew how i felt but you didn't care, so why should I care? why should I do something to prevent you from hurting? WHy shouldn't I use the power that I have to ruin your life and make sure you're never happy again? Because unlike you love means something to me...I could never hurt the one I love like that. I could never rip that person's soul apart. I can only try to make their life easier.
You pick me up and kiss me and flirt with me and hold me and continuen to do those intimate things that you promised her you would no longer do with me. So it has to mean something? Doens't it? I'm not asking for those things anymore but you give them to me anyway. Why? Waht does it mean? Are you trying to destroy me? Or does it still mean something to you? Do I still mean something to you?
Out of sight out of mind. Is that why you're so eager for me to leave? SO you can finally rid yourself of your feelings for me and be with her? Well what happens when I come back? Do you think those feelings will stay away? Do you really think you're ever going to rid yourself of me? You'll just end up hurting her even more than you've already hurt her, by choosing me yet again.
No traps in place anymore.
Why aren't you with her?
Exactly.
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