Current Mood:
7:38 a.m. - 11/6/2002
Frustration
SO much drama. I swear. I talked to Andre earlier today and he was complaining becasue his life is too simple now and he misses the drama. I'd be more than happy to give him mine.
First let's start with the Duffie thing. I hate him so much for being such a jerk to me, but a big part of me still loves him, and I hate myself for that. Why couldn't things be simple, like they were when we first started dating? Why did he have to go and complicate things. And why am I allowing myself to care.
Just a few minutes ago Jenn and Tiffany were in my room looking at pictures of a couple of the guys I've dated/had a crush on in the past. They thought that both guys were really cute and the two of them were trying to decide which one was cuter. No one would ever do that wiht Duffie. If given the choice between him and someone else I've dated most people would choose the other person. These guys were well groomed, well mannered, well dressed, and each had a bright future ahead of them, none of which Duffie had. Yet he's the great love of my life. I don't know why when I can do so much better. Currently I know of at least 2 other attractive guys with good futures a head of them who are interested in dating me (not just fucking me), yet I can't bring myself to start another serious relationship becasue the hope of Duffie and I reconciling our differences is still there.
Now let's move on to the next casue of drama in my life. Jealous girls. This is the exact reason why the vast majority of my friends are guys. Girls are to bitchy and get jealous to easily. I don't want to get into all the long complicated story of why she's jealous of me, but to sum it up, it's because I'm much prettier than she is and as a result this guy wanted to hook up with me and not with her. Somehow she got him to sleep in her bed with her and they fooled around I guess. To her this meant everyhting and she's been flaunting the fact that he slept in her bed and not mine ever since. She's amking the fact that they kissed into the hugest deal, when it really wasn't. Well anyway, she's super jealous of me becasue even thoguh she tries to hide it, she knows that he wanted to be with me that night and that if he would have come home with me he would have been interested in a lot more than kissing, so she does these subtle things to try to put me down. Which is so stupid. And the worst part of it is that when she's around me she pretends to be my best friend. When she's talking to me she's complementing me on my ability to get whatever guy I want but when she's talkign to other people she putting me down and calling me a slut. This weekend I hung out wiht her and I thought that things might be fine between us. But then today, my roommate said she ran into her and she made some smart ass comment about how I blow. I don't let this stuff affect me, especially wiht her becasue I know that it's all becasue of the whole jealousy thing, but Tiffany made it out to be a huge deal. I have a strong feeling that one weekend when I'm drunk and partying with her I'm gonna tell her off, which I don't want to do becasue I don't want to create an environment of tension.
Moving on to more probelems with men. I slept with this guy a while ago and ever since them he has been acting like a major ass towards me. Don't get em wrong, I didn't expect anything to come from it, but we were pretty good friends before it happened and afterwards he barely ever spoke to me. Then on Friday I went up to his apartment to visit his roommate, who I am still pretty good friends with, and he would not let me inside. When I tried to get in he shoved me out, and told me that I'm not allowed in his apartment anymore, like he's the only one who lives there. He claims it's becasue me and Kersten woke him up one night when we went up there drunk at like 4 am looking for his roommate, but I have a feeling that it's a little more than that. I ahte him so much for pushing me like that on Friday. That was so disrespectful, and rude. Words can't even begin to describe how angry that made me, but there's nothing I can do about it.
God this is so annoying. What? you ask. Everything. Why do guys have to be so stupid and girls have to be such jealous bitches? It's so frustrating.
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