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2:20 a.m. - 12/8/2002
My Weekend
Okay.
Let's see.
Where do I begin.
I guess, first and formost things haven't worked out for me and Duffie as I hoped they would.
I haven't spoken to him since Thanksgiving Day.
It makes me so sad that he's not working towards this relationship.
And I really am.
When I go out and drink I don't whore around anymore like I used to.
The most I've done is kiss another guy last night and it wasn't even for that long becasue I stopped. I could have had sex with that guy but I didn't.
The only person I want to have sex with is my Duffie. The love of my life.
Unfortunately I no longer think that I am the love of his life.
If I'm not, I wish he would just tell me.
This is driving me crazy.
Why do I lett him do this to me?
Let's move on to less depressing subjects.
LAst ngiht there was a keg party over at Kersten's. It was a lot of fun, and i spent most of the ngiht flirting with this guy who turned out to be 26 years old and who was also flirting with a bunch of other girls, but I enjoyed myself. I remeber himtelling me how hot I was many times. I remember at one point that apartment having more people than we ever expected to come. I remember some guy telling me that he wanted me and me telling him to join the club. I remember going around "looking for trouble" with Jenn and us telling people we we JennLea from DC or the drunken LeaJenn. I remember giving the 26 year old my number. I remember this bitch who was at Danny's apt when me and Jenn went to invite him to the party. I remember Kersten's friend leaving this guy at the apt so that she could hook up with him for the ngiht and KErsten not wanting to hook up with him so pretending to be sick so he would leave. I remember going to another keg party that was here also, with Jenn and invitng them to join parties with us. They did for a little while. I remember feeling so fucked up becasue all the alcohol I drank the ngiht before and all the coffee I drank that mroning to stay awake for my test was still in my system in addtion to all the beer that I had had at the party and the weed that I smoked at the party. I remeber goign home to make some pasta to make myself feel better after the party died down, and then goign back over and walking around with Kersten looking for something to do. I remember goign to the apt of the other party with her and chillin with the guy who lives there for a bit. I remember running into Logan and KErsten iviviting him in, in spite of what he did to her. I remember listening to Logan go on and on in a drunken state to me about how he feels bad becasue he hurt this girl and he thinks he might actually care about her. I remember him rambling about how I'm the only chick who understands him, which is kind of true. I remember telling him that I didn't wnat to hook up with him and him moving on to Kersten. I remember Ellyn waking up from all the noise he was making and getting pissed. I remeber her roommates not wanting to leave her alone with him for good reason and her getting pissed. I remember Logan taking off his clothes and flashing us several times. I rremeber him saying that as of 6:35 am he had givin up girls (yeah right). I remember finally leaving the two of them alone after he offered to leave several times and Kersten insisted that he stay, so her roommates gave up on trying to protect him. That's how my night went. Oh and one more thing I remeber is Jenn and Kersten telling me that Cliff came over earlier but left becasue I wasn't there. Flattered by that I am not. I'm more annoyed. I hope he doens't think that we might hook up again becasue it will never happen. He won't get so much as a kiss out of me.
Friday night we went over to Jose Miguel's (Mike)friend Whit's house, and we (well me and Kersten at least) drank a lot. We took shots of so many different types of alcohol. The we came back here becasue Jenn and Ellyn were tired and we went to Cliff's and then went walkign around looking for something to do with him. We stopped by Sean's where we found him drunk out of his mind and hung out there for a bit. Then we went back to Kersten's and then Cliff followed me home and passed out on my bed while I studied for the test that i had to make up that day. Which by the way I did horribly on, not even becasue of the fact that I got drunk the night before, but becasue I hate that class and the subject manner is boring and won't for the life of me stick in my head. So there's an F on my report card becasue I needed like an 80 on that test to pass, and yeah, i didn't get one. But oh well.
Oh yeah and I also am not at all looking forward to goign home for Christmas and spending 3 weeks in that house. I was home for a few days for Thanksgiving and it started to depress me. Now i understand why Andre doesn't like to come home.
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