Current Mood: DRUNK
2:19 a.m. - 11/9/2002
fucked up so pay no attention to my incoherent ranmblings
Dude
I am so fucked up right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling the high or the drunk. I guess it's a little of both since I did them at the same time.
I'm being very careful to type the right letters this time becasue typically when I'm drunk and get on the computer I mispell like evrything.
Yeah so tongiht was kind of boring. But I got fucked up and that's all that mattered. For a brief period of time I forgot about that jerkoff exboyfriend of mine. I had all these dreams about him last night.. Well I guess they could be construed as nightmares since I woke up screaming or wasnting to cry form everyone of them. Either they imitated reality and our relationship was fucked up so I woke up screaming, or they imitated what I wish reality were and we were back together and I woke up wanting to cry becasue it wasn't really real but it felt so real.
I can't wait till I turn 21 so that I can drink when I go to clubs. Kersten is so lucky. She got to get drunk for free tonight at this club becasue we got in for free and ladies drank free until 1 am. When we got back to her APT me and Ellyn smoked a bit and then I had some of that rum left over from last weekend.
So now I would like to talk about a certain person who's anme I would rather not mention just in case some people who actually read this don't know about my situation with this person, there will be no unecessay tension caused, and yeah honestly I don't even know if what I just typed even makes and sense. But yeah everytime I think that me and this bitch, the one I wrote about a couple days ago, are getting along and might be able to be friends, she does soemthing or makes some smart comment to ruin everything. Towards the beginning of the night we were all buddy nuddy, and she was like I've finally found a smoking partner or something like that, and she was talking about how she and I could actually share closets becasue we're the only two with big boobs. Then later into the night she makes some comment, that is obviously caused by jealousy over the situation that I explained a few days ago. She was bragging about making out with the guy, and I was like yeah I made out with him too the first weekedn he was here, and she says in this demeaning tone, yeah, you did that among other things. It was obviously a tone of jealousy, and she didn't say it in a jokingly way like one of my true friends would have. SHe's pissed becasue I make this thing that she had with him out to be nothing when she makes it everything, and becasue he wanted to do more with me than he did with her.
I seriosuly need to get laid. Why is it that I had so many oppertunities when I was with fuckface and hardly any now that we're not together anymore. I'm so tired I'm about to pass out so I guess I'll hit up that bed now.
Good night, or mornign rather since it's like 5:40 am now. Oh on a lst note, I'm so hot. I just thoguth I'd share that with everyone. I've been getting told that a lot so yeah I am. The other day one of my less attractive friends was discuassing what she wanted to look like, what the ideal girl that guys wanted to hook up with looked like, and I was feeling kind of bad, becasue she was basically describing what i look like now, so I couldn't be like yeah I know how you feel. Becasue to her I've got the ideal look. Big boobs, a nice ass, a pretty face, and a nice body...not too fat and not too thin...Although I know I could stand to lose some pounds, to most poeple a size 8 is a good size to be. i think i's be happier at a 4 but wahtever. Hot guys think i'm hot and some of my female freiodns think I'm pretty, so yeah.
I hope I have fun tomorrow and get to drink more. I need the stress reliever. I'm looking forward to just straight fun with no worries.
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