Current Mood:
10:24 a.m. - 2006-06-14
trust
There are very very few people in this world who I can actually allow myself to trust. I've been lied to and hurt so much in my life that I have a predisposition to believe that everything everyone says is a lie to make their own life easier and that you can never count on someone to be there for you and be honest with you.
I'd say that the only people I allowed myself to trust 100% are Kersten, Danny, Andre, Stephanie, (Jenn back when she lived with us, Duffie when we were dating) and Jacob. After being hurt by my previous boyfriend it took a whole lot to make myself trust Jacob. But I did. For some stupid reason I trusted him. And he betrayed that trust. He showed himself to be a selfserving lier with no consideration for the feelings of people he claimed to care about. He looked me directly in the eyes and lied to me. An outright lie. Not even that thing he does where he withholds the truth so he doesn't consider it lieing.
And after that he expects me to still trust what he says. He expects me to beleive that the second i leave he's not gonna go and try to date another girl. I'm supposed to believe that he is actually willing to sacrifice something for me. Why should I? He's done nothing to regain my trust. eh claims he's in the process of trying to do that, but unitl he does I can't beleiev anything he says. I can only expect the worstof him so as not to be let down yet again. So he has no right to get as angry at me as he is getting for not trusting him.
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