Current Mood:
9:25 a.m. - 2004-04-06
Mistakes
Having all of that stuff form the old apartment thrown away and stolen by the maintenece people is really upsetting. I just keep wishing that I would have moved it earlier. But I didn't. And it's gone. ANd nothing I can do will bring it back. And it's killing me. I know I hold on to things for way too long, but a lot of that stuff had a lot of emotional attachments to it. And a lot of it was valuable. ANd it just sucks to know that I'll never have it back. Times like these make me realize that coming to Tallahassee was the biggest mistake I could have ever made. I should have gone to Cornell or NYU like I was planning on doing. Florida State has brought me nothing but problems. Bad grades, robberies, and a ton of other bad stuff that I'd just rather not mention right now. This sucks. I wish I could go back in time. My life would be so much better if I could just relive it and make some wiser decisions. Even if I could just relive this year, it would be great. Why can't time travel be real, and people have the ability to relive the past to prevent them form making horrible mistakes. I know that the mistakes you make in life make you who you are and help you to learn and develop but some mistakes are just too horrible to live with.
I wish I'd done things differently Senior year of high school. Just think about how different my life could be right now if I would have made some better choices academically. Or even if I would have made better choices at Marymount. And especially if I would have made better choices when I got to Florida state. That's really where my life just starts spiraling downward at a rapid rate.
I know that dwelling on the past isn't healthy for me and is only upsetting me more than I need to be, but I can't help it. I just hope that after this semester my suffereing finally comes to an end and I start making better decisions and start getting my life back on track. I hope my bad luck finally ends and life starts to work out for me again.
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