Current Mood: overwhelmed
10:23 a.m. - 08/21/2007
Overload leads to breakdown
You know how sometimes things just keep building up and building up until it gets to be too much and finally explodes. That just happened to me. Since the week before I went to Disneyworld my job has been working me to death. I've been literally working from the time I get in to the time I leave sometimes I don't even have time for a lunch break. That's 12 hours straight of work. And to make it worse, 12 hours of straight accounting work! I though that after I took that week off it would let up but no, I came back to work last week, sick with a stack of work that had piled up. Of course I complain to my freinds and family but here it's no problem, of course I can do that, I'll have that finished by the end of today (so what if I have 4 other major projects to work on already). So as you can imagine some anger and frustration has been building up there. Then there's the fact that I got a terrible cold while I was in Disney world. I hate ebing sick and am usually very grumpy when I have a cold. Then there's the hint of resentment I get form my mom about the fact that I went to Disney world in the first place. Add the fact that I spent a small fortune there and have very limited funds until Saturday, with the fact that my mom planned a trip to las vegas for her and my brother as a way of getting back at me for going to disney world, so I'm home by myself until Friday. Oh and we can't leave out teh fact that I didn't get to relax and get drunk with my friends this weekend because I was helping Joe move. And the oh so compicated relationship that I have with the love of my life, there's also some small problems with several of my friends feeling like I'm ignoring them, when in actuality I'm just too damn tired when I get home from my 12 hour day at work to do anything other than eat and go to bed, and maybe if I'm lucky get a little bit of studying done for the classes I just started taking on top of everything else I'm doing. Oh and on top of everything else, I'm having issues with the HUD ID people yet again.
So all of that stuff that has been stressing me out since the end of July finally exploded today when my timekeeper expressed annoyance with me for not filling out the correct forms to log my extra hours and for not correcting my leave slip for the week I took off. I was scheduled to only work 3 hours the day I left for Disney, but I ended up working 5 hours because I was such a good employee that I wanted to finish up everything I was working on before I left, and I didn't correct my leave slip. All she had to do was ask me nicley. God forbid I should forget stupid admin stuff when I'm working my ass off to put together all the pieces to actually get our formula out. Anyway, I couldn't take it anymore and I went into the bathroom to cry for like 20 minutes and even now it's hard to keep the tears in. I hate my life so much! Right about now I just want to crawl into a hole and die. Now that I think about it, maybe it's the rain. Today is such a gloomy day that might have contributed to my emotional breakdown.
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