Current Mood: hurt
11:27 p.m. - 08/29/2007
Trying to forget the past and how you broke me
She has a way of making me remember all the bad things about you that I want nothing more to forget, because if I don't forget them, then I can never be with you. my heart won't allow me to take that risk again. She made me remember the nights you used to disappear for weeks at a time, and how I cried myself to sleep while listening to sad love songs and wishing you would come back. You always came back, but it still hurt everytime you left. I remember getting drunk and letting guys take advantage of me because I didn't have time to remember my lonliness with someone else in my bed. but I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember how i tried and tried and forgave and forgave, and loved. That's all I ever did was love you. I gave you my everything and you took it and left me with nothing. I made you my world and you destroyed it.
I don't want to remember because if I do then I can't allow this (wahtever it is) to continue. I can't allow myself to fall in love with you even more than I already am. It took me 3 years to get over you and now here i am about to make the same mistake all over again. But if I don't remember then it's not a mistake. It's the start of something wonderful. i want to spend my lifetime loving you, but I shouldn't. but I can't help myself. How easily we forget all of the tears and the pain, all the cuts and the blood, all the crying and sleepless nights, when we're together. Love makes me do stupid things like forget our history. The present is all that matters, and the present shows me that we are meant to be because neither of us could ever really move on.
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