Current Mood:
7:46 p.m. - 01/19/2010
so close but ye so far apart
Falling in love is such a weird process. Although before I go any further I'm not really going to talk about that in this blog because it hasn't gotten that far yet. I'm going to talk about wha happens before that. The falling in like process. That's where I'm at right now, and actually where I have been for a really long time.
Have you ever met someone who you just instantly connect with? Who you feel completely comfortable with. Who you can talk to about anything? And who makes ou laugh in an unconventional kind of way? That one guy who fits all of the reidiculous nitpicky qualifications on your list of what you want in a guy. He's not attractive in a conventional kind of way. My friends don't comment on how hot he is when they see him, but to me he looks perfect. To me everything about him is perfect.
The only problem is that he has no idea that I feel this way about him. He has no idea that I even think about him. No clue at all. We hardly ever talk anymore. But he still occupies my mind. I try to move on with guys who actually notice my exisitance, but it always comes back to the fact that they are not him. I try to tell myself that I'm never going to find someone who fits all of my qualifications, but I've already been spoiled. I already know that he exisit. I've gone out with him. I've slept with him. I almost had him. Everything was almost perfect. But for some reason we just let things slip away. Talking every day cut back to talking once a week, then once a month, and before I knew it it had been almost a year.
I wish I wasn't so shy. i wish I didn't care about just putting myself out there and letting him know that I like him a lot. If we could just go out on one date I would be so happy, because I know that he would see what I see, and that is that we are perfect for each other.
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